Friday, August 28, 2009
I know that I'm only supposed to be usin this blog for my story thing, but I'm super pissed and need to vent, so here goes. What the hell is C changin the press box for??? Colleen told me this morning she thinks it's cause her mom went and talked to C about Colleen having MILD scoliosis. Seriosly???? My brother had scoliosis so severly that he had rods in his back (and btw, he got them put in in middle school, so he marched with them all four years he was in high school marching band) and he still did all the facings and all the pressboxes the same way we DID them before today!! With fucking rods in his back!! And Colleen's scoliosis is like as severe as mine (barely a curve in my spine btw)!!!!! But she went complaining to mommy that her back hurt, so everyone else gets to get whiplash for her!!!! What the fuck is up with that!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? And she sure as hell can march with scoliosis!!! My brother did it with rods in his back as a result of his severe as hell scoliosis!!!!! Get the fuck over yourself, Colleen!!!! Suck it up and stop complaining to mommy cause your back hurts a little!!!!!
6:24 PM
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
This is like a day or two after Isaac and Heidi meet and Heidi can't stop thinking about him, dreamt about him, and is essentially completely in love with him. She is getting ready with Ave to go to their cousin's wedding, in which Heidi is a bride's maid (that might not be in there, but know that it is intended) (also, I put the different paragraphs in different colors since I can't figure out how to do the tab thing)
Isaac was all that filled mt mind as I dressed for Katherine's wedding. Katherine was the only one of my cousins living in the States that I could stand to be around for more than ten minutes at a time (though considering that she and her two eleven-year-old brothers were my only cousins living here, needless to say, she didn't have much competition).
I wore my best dress - a beautiful deep blue, with a high collar, in the late 19th century style (one that you had to wear a corset with). My grandmother had made it for my mother for her 16th birthday, although my mother had turned 16 in 1917, and it was a bit out of fashion at the time. Since I had been the oldest of her daughters, my mother had given it to me a year ago for my 16th birthday.
Ave was doing my hair in some sort of intricate thing with a lot of braids (regular and french) and knots, the kind that it is impossible not to get a headache from.
I sighed.
"Isaac?" she guessed, and sounded very hopeful that it would be him.
"Am I that transparent all of a sudden?"
"No, but I hold out hope that you may actually fall in love one day," she said, smiling at me in the mirror.
"Oh, is that it?" I asked, smiling back. I sighed again, "He came to the store again today."
She looked at me quizzically, though her smile widened.
"Why are you just telling me this!?" she exclaimed when my statement had registered completely.
"I don't know. Maybe I knew that you would react like this," I said mockingly.
"Am I that transparent all of a sudden?"
"Yes," i replied, both of us laughing.
Skipping some that I haven't felt like writing yet, lol, it starts up again at the reception.
When the service was over we all moved next door for a reception. After a few minutes everyone started to clap as the bride and groom entered after having taken pictures in the sanctuary. there were many people eating and of course the traditional cutting and shoving of the cake, and finally dancing.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the wedding singer's voice came over the crowd through the microphone, "would you please clear the dance floor for the bride and groom's first dance as husband and wife."
Everyone cleared the dance floor and watched as Katherine and her new husband, John, danced for the first time as husband and wife. Slowly other couples began to fill the dance floor. Since Ave and I had both come without dates, we had decided to be each others' dates.
After a song or two of just standing off of the dance floor with our arms linked, she turned to me, very straight faced and said, "May I have this dance?" and taking her hand from mine, held it palm up, as if expecting me to place mine in hers.
"But of course," I replied and placed my hand in hers. "Should you be the man? or should I?" I asked as we walked onto the dance floor.
"Well, you are almost an entire head taller than me," she replied.
"Yes, but you did request my hand"
"And why can the woman not take the initiative and ask the man for a dance?" she asked almost appalled. Ave would not meet her equal in a woman who believed in women's rights until the late 1960's (I am very proud to say that she took part, as a 44 year-old woman, in burning her bra outside the Miss America pageant).
"Of course a woman can ask a man to dance, but it is much more romantic when the man proposes it."
"Then it is a good thing that I don't care about being romantic with my sister," we both laughed and she took my hands and placed them on her waist while resting her own hands on my shoulders.
We danced like that for three songs, but when the fourth started someone tapped Ave on the shoulder.
"May I cut in?" he wasn't looking at Ave, but at me, and I was looking back at him.
The expression on my face must have been a sight, because Ave just smiled and put my hand into his "She's all yours," she told Isaac.
"What are you doing here?" I asked when my brain would stopped going in circles long enough for me to utter the sentence.
He looked hurt at my choice of words, or maybe it was the way I'd said them, my brain was functioning enough to speak, but not enough to think about how I spoke. "If you don't want to dance with me, I'll go"
"No!" I hadn't mean to, but I had essentially yelled at him. "No," I repeated, much more in control of of the level of my voice. "I don't want you to go," I whispered, averting my eyes,. "I want to dance with you," and looked up to see his eyes silently rejoicing. He smiled at me and pulled me closer to him.
There was no song playing at the moment, but almost as soon as he pulled me against him, the band started playing and the woman started to sing a cover of "I Only Have Eyes For You."
I know that it's such a cliche, but it's true in this case, that those moments of dancing in Isaac's arms were magical. So magical, in fact, that I have absolutely no idea how long they actually lasted, though later Ave told me that it was at least half an hour.
When the slow songs ended and they began to play the faster swing, Isaac leaned his head close to my ear and whispered, "Come outside with me?" though it was neither a command nor a request. I nodded my head and with my right hand still in his left, he led me out to the beautiful grounds of the church.
It was a terribly cold January night in upstate New York, below freezing, in fact, but it didn't matter much to me.
3:11 PM
Freude (continuation)
Sunday, June 7, 2009
This is my story again and picks up where last I left off, so if you haven't read that part yet, you might want to read it before this post.
"I don't know," I said slowly, my voice getting more and more abashed with every moment that I though about that it. The fact that there was this much turmoil and confusion inside me because of someone who I barely knew. Ave would probably call it "love at first sight" or some such nonsense, but I had never held much stock in that. I had even held it against William Shakespeare himself for having written something so disgusting as
Romeo and Juliet.
"Well, maybe he isn't Jewish, maybe his parents are Christian and want to allude to the Old Testament, or maybe they just like the name," she said, trying to make me feel better.
"Thanks, but I don't even know if I have any feelings for this guy; after all, I only met him today."
"Juliet met Romeo less than a week before she married him and killed herself over his death!" she exclaimed, again trying to make me feel better, forgetting for a moment that I detest
Romeo and Juliet.
"Ugh."
He was standing over me as I woke from a dreamless sleep. "Isaac?" I asked, very confused and slightly disoriented. I lay on my bed with my long, blond hair sprawled everywhere over my face. He leaned very close, brushed the hair from my face and gently pressed his lips against mine.
I wound my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. I laced my fingers through some of his thick, brown locks. He slid one hand beneath the small of my back and the other below my head. I removed my right hand from his hair and with it started to unbutton his shirt.
My door slammed against the wall with a loud enough noise that I'm sure the door knob put a hole in my it. My father was the first to come in. His expression when he saw me was a mixture of shock, horror, sadness, but most of all, disappointment. Adolph followed into the room soon after.
"Dirty Jew!" my brother spat at me.
Isaac was suddenly gone, but I wanted so badly for him to return, so badly for it to be like before we were interrupted by my father and brother. So badly that I was shaking and crying as they stood there yelling at me for disgracing myself with a Jew.
"Heidi! Heidi! wake up! What's wrong!?" Ave was shaking me awake, I was crying so hard. I woke up and just cried into her shest while she stroked my hair until I fell back asleep.
****If you couldn't catch it, from the time he was standng over her until Ave kept saying "Heidi! Heidi!" was all a dream, which I explain later on, but not now.****
7:32 PM
Monday, May 25, 2009
K, so by popular request (Katie and Bailli), and the fact that even though I don't much care for this story I can't get it out of my head, I will continue to write. Again, these are random parts of the story and just rough drafts, so don't expect much :)
The day that Heidi and Isaac first meet, after she gets off work.
I entered my room, took my hair down, plopped onto my bed, and closed my eyes.
I sat bolt upright. Why that? Why had I seen that when I closed my eyes? Why had I seen him?? I had only met him once, and, though I did find him very attractive and amiable, I didn't know him very well, or his true person.
I thought about one of my favorite books: Pride and Prejudice. I was rereading it, again, and had just gotten to the part where Elizabeth meets Mr. Wickham.* It felt like a bad omen.
"Why are you so sweaty? and look like you just saw a ghost?" Ave had just walked in and a worried look spread over her face when she saw the look on mine.
"Oh, nothing. I'm fine."
"Please don't do this to me. I know when something is wrong, and something is wrong."
She was right, of course. We had been the best of friends since the moment she had stopped teething.
"Is it a guy?" the look I gave - or rather didn't give her, since I couldn't look her in the eye - must have tipped her off. She knew me so well. "Who is he!?" she exclaimed, her face immediately lighting up; Ave is such a romantic.
"This guy that came into the shop toady, though I've never seen him before," I confessed.
"What's his name?!" she was more excited about this ervelation than I was.
"Why are you so much happier than me?"
"Because you never like anyone! So what's his name?"
"Isaac," her face dropped suddenly when I said his name.
"Father wonlt like that, even if he's not Jewish."
"I know; that's why you have to promise not to tell father! Or Adolph!"
"Of course! What do you take me for? a simpleton?" We both knew that if our brother found out, so would my father. If my father found out, I would probably never see the light of day again.
"So is he Jewish?" she asked, smiling at the prospect. Ave had never been what you would call the "ideal daughter." She was very content to do whatever she wanted, especially when that meant the exact opposite of whet my parents wanted her to do. For her, the thought of a Jewish boyfriend made her, well I suppose the only word that would do it justice is "giddy."
"I don't know, to be honest," I told her, staring at my bed.
"Well, what's his last name?" I kept my eyes down, staring at a certain floral pattern on my sheets.
"I don't know," I said slowly, my voice getting more and more abashed with every moment that I though about that it. The fact that there was this much turmoil and confusion inside me because of someone who I barely knew. Ave would probably call it "love at first sight" or some such nonsense, but I had never held much stock in that. I had even held it against William Shakespeare himself for having written somthing so disgusting as Romeo and Juliet.
*For those of you not well acquainted with Jane Austen's masterpiece, the main character, Elizabeth, meets a charming young man called George Wickham. Mr. Wickham is very amiable and liked by the general population of Merryton, and Elizabeth has a thing for him for a while and vice versa. You later find out that the reason he and Mr. Darcy have been at odds for so long is because he tried (and almost succeeded) in convincing Miss Darcy (Darcy's younger sister) to elope with him for her wealth after he squandered the fortune left to him by the late Mr. Darcy.
Gonna stop here cause I have other crap to do, but I'll come back later and finish what else I have written for this portion of the story.
-Kathe
5:09 PM
various band stuffs
Friday, May 15, 2009
If you've read any of my blog before or if your one of my friends who i neglected to tell (can't think of anyone like that though), and you haven't heard by now, I got into my music program this summer. I will be leaving for Decorah, Iowa at like 5:30 a.m. or something like that on i think June 21. I found out in Orlando lol. I was walking out of the awards ceremony (we won like everything in the high school categories that you didn't need a choir for) and i called my mom to tell her we had won everything and were on our way home. She told me that she had opened my mail and that I had gotten in. I was jumping and screaming, and even ended up jumping into my friend's arms, lol. All of this was going on while I was surrounded by about 120 or so students from Barbe, along with about 5 or 600+ high school students from other schools in other states, not including band directors and chaperons, lol. Anyway, I figure I should also talk about Orlando, so here goes: 2nd hour (the second band) played first, 3rd hour (honors band that I'm in, thanks to my beloved bassoon lol) played next, Jazz band, then the percussion ensemble, then the guard, then we waited for a couple of hours until the buses got there to take us to the mall to eat, lol.
11:10 AM
Lutheran Summer Music
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
hey so im about to leave for orlando and am bored and just listenin to music and katie was like "go write on your blog!!" so here i am, writing on my blog! k so i cant really think of what to write about so you get to read about music camp!!! lol i know, and am proud of being a band geek lol. k so basically its this camp in Decorah, Iowa (i think i spelt the name of the town right) and its like 3 hours or something like that away from the minneapolis st. paul region/area/thing. its gonna be held at a lutheran college there called... well i dont actually know what the name of the college is. as you may have guessed, i am lutheran, but you dont have to be to get into the camp. its like an international thing too, but theres only like 150 spots open so keep your fingers crossed!!! a guy from my church tried out to and claims that he already his acceptance letter, though i kind of doubt it; i think hell get in, i just dont think he already got his letter. apparently if i get in me and dietrich will be like the first to go to it from louisiana (and theyre like stoked that were interested cause theres like no southern lutherans lol) in fact southern lutherans are so few and far between my godparents' oldest daughter was like the first person to go from oklahoma when we were there. anyways gettin kinda bored of this so ill post it so katie can read it and...yeah so anyways ttfn lol (yes i still like winnie the pooh...to an extnet lol)
-kathe
4:01 PM
Friday, February 27, 2009
Some of my more favoriter poems (most come from Holocaust Poetry, and do have to do with the Holocaust.):RaceWhen I returned to my hometown
believing that noone would care
who i was and what i thought
it was as if the people caught
an echo of me everywhere
they knew my story by my face
and I who am always alone
became a symbol of race
Like every living Jew I have
in imagination seen
the gas-chamber the mass-grave
the unknown body which was mine
and found in every German face
behind the mask the mark of Cain
I will not make their thoughts my own
by hating people for their race.
Karen Gershon
11:33 PM